I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
