id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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