this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
