You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize