girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
