So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
