I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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