I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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