Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
is it fun? or sober?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
