He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
