Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
