k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
