Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
