HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
