I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
