I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Who did Billy Mays play for?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize