I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
love makes seman taste better
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
