'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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