hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
