I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize