Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
