You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
