i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Four minutes until I can fart!
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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