I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
