I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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