I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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