I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just want nice things and good sex
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
