my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
