she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
