Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
he shaved USA in his pubs
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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