Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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