Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
