Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
