Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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