You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
