i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I am naked and annoyed.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
