Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
