And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize