I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
they need to just BURY HIM!
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
