so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
