and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
