I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize