You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
