Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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