That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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