Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
