I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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