You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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