Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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