you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
