I love watching others lives come down to our level.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
