Where did you get a picture of my penis
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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