and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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