Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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