Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
