I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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