I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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