i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
