Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Alive.
So much puke
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
