belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize