And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
