"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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